I recently conducted a webinar on relationship building and networking and was asked by a young woman in the audience, “What advice would you give to those of us (which, in reality is everybody) that struggle with not having enough hours in the day.” The woman works primarily from home and has three children aged 6, 3 and 1.
I told her that she is not alone and should not beat herself up for putting her kids first. I only have one, but I was a single mom from the time my son was 2-1/2 years old. I can only imagine the demands of 3 kids; she is to be commended.
There is no science to this sort of thing. I think the answer lies in setting priorities, being organized and realizing that as your children grow you will be able to spend time doing different things for yourself. During my years at Spencer Stuart, I swore off of joining not-for-profit boards because, when I wasn’t traveling 2-3 days/week, I wanted and needed to be home for my young son. When I left the firm I joined the board of the Chicago Sinfonietta (classical music) and am now, three years later, board chair. Point being, you can’t do everything; your career, like your children’s lives, will move through stages.
Here are some tips to manage motherhood and ambition:
- To the extent that you can get a sitter or nanny a few times a month, try to hit up company or professional association events.
- Leverage social media to connect virtually with people, especially join some virtual groups (like LinkedIn) and participate in discussions to feel connected beyond your employer.
- Sign-up for newsletters and RSS feeds for organizations and blogs to stay abreast of movers and shakers you can benefit from knowing. Add them to your list and reach out even electronically to connect.
- If possible, attend and even participate in company-sponsored affinity or resource groups catering to women and parents with young children.